POLITICALLY CORRECT CHRISTMAS GREETING

It's that "most wonderful time of the year" again, so a fellow curmudgeon sent in the following updated and sanitized safer version of Christmas well-wishing in the Post-Christian Era.

Feel free to pass it on to the Scrooges, Grinches, ACLU lawyers, and secular fundamentalists on your own Yuletide list:


Holiday Seasons Greetings to You

Please accept with no obligation implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasions of your choice or the secular practices of your choice with respect to the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice religious/secular traditions at all.

And a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilling and medically-uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally-accepted calendar year 2013 of the Common Era, but not without due respect of the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious profession, sexual preference, or choice of computer operating system of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting the terms herein as the wishee. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal at any time and without notice. It is freely transferable with no alteration from the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually deliver or implement any of the wishes for him/herself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the generally accepted application of good tidings for a period of no more than twelve months, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday.)