Tuesday, December 25, 2012

THE CURMUDGEON'S FRUITCAKE RECIPE
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

It's time once again to post our favorite yuletide fruitcake recipe:



The Best Ever Holiday Fruitcake Recipe
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the very highest quality.

Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still okay.

Cry another cup. Turn off the mixer. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsnisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something.

Who cares. Check the whiskey. Now sift some lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add a tooble spain of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven.

Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don' t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window.

Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.

Who likes fitcruke anyway