ENGLISH A RACIST LANGUAGE, EXPERTS DISCOVER*

Perhaps the best solution to this crisis is to stop speaking English altogether (unless you're a liberal):

...."The entire English language was created by slaveowners as a means of oppression. You can’t just say that one word is a racist code word or another....Whenever [conservatives] use English, they are using it to hiddenly express racist ideas. Whenever they speak, they are speaking entirely in racist code words. But when Democrats like us speak English, we’re using tolerance code words."

....Republicans responded to this development with their usual extremism by ridiculing the cry of the oppressed and refusing to repudiate their racism. A number of leading establishment Republicans however have suggested that this represents an opportunity for their party to embrace the future by switching to Spanish....

*Danger! Satire ahead!